Boys to Men program aims to redefine masculinity among young athletes
- In a society where aggression is often celebrated in sports , a new program is challenging young male athletes to rethink what it means to "be a man."
The Coaching Boys into Men initiative, held at Lumem Field , seeks to foster healthy relationships and emotional awareness among players, aiming to combat alarming statistics surrounding sexual assault and violence.
The program gathers men from across the state, many of whom are former athletes turned coaches. Paul Aur, director of PAC Northwest Soccer Club, shared his perspective on the shift from traditional masculinity.
"If you ask my dad that and what I was told, like don't cry, you got to be a man, toughen up. That's definitely changed. Now we talk about dealing with emotions and actually feeling them," Aur said.
Athletes are involved in one in three college sexual assaults, according to the National Coalition Against Violent Athletes Prevention Programs. This is Aur's second time participating in the training. He says it's important to raise good people first, incorporating lessons on respectful relationships alongside the usual sports training.
"We can impact our players, that's something positive we can do," he added.
Ward Urion, co-founder of Team Up Washington and a senior prevention strategist with the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, highlighted the urgent need for such initiatives.
"When I was coming out of college, it was really clear that it was not a safe space for women," Uryan recounted.
According to the FBI, between 1991 and 1993, male athletes, who represented only 3.3% of the male college population, were involved in 19% of reported sexual assaults on campus.
The issue persists today, with statistics from Futures Without Violence indicating that one in three young women experience some form of dating abuse or violence. Urion has observed positive changes since the Boys to Men program was co-founded a decade ago.
"Particularly around how men and masculinity is performed in this culture and what it is to be a man and what it means," he said.
The program covers a wide range of topics over a 12-week period, including sexual assault prevention, consent, and gender-based violence. More than 73 schools in Washington have received this crucial training.
Patrick Lavin, vice chair of domestic violence and sexual assault for the King County Prosecuting Attorney's Office, stressed the responsibility men have in this context. "Men are responsible for their actions," he asserted.
Lavin also pointed out the long-term effects of domestic violence exposure on children. "Children who are exposed to domestic violence are more likely to be either victims of domestic violence or perpetrators of abuse in their adult years," he explained.
King County data reveals troubling trends, with over a third of defendants charged with firearm-related felonies between 2015 and 2023 having prior domestic violence convictions. "It's an issue that affects everyone's lives whether they know it or not," Lavin noted.
High school athlete Maceo Rivers plays both football and basketball. He has witnessed firsthand the consequences of poor guidance from coaches.
"If their coach is giving them the wrong messages and the wrong guidance, then they get thrown off track just because they don't know for themselves," Rivers said.
He credits his success in life and relationships to his mother, who is receiving training through the program. "Just understanding myself, so I can help better understand others," he added.
The Boys to Men initiative represents a step toward redefining masculinity in sports, promoting not only athletic skills but also the importance of emotional intelligence and respect for others.
For those interested in supporting the cause, Team Up Washington offers both in-person and virtual training opportunities. More information can be found on Team Up Washington's website .
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