Dear Abby: Girlfriend’s mother struggles to accept our relationship

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my girlfriend, "Kim," for a year and a half. We are both in our 40s and very independent. Her mother struggles with our relationship because we are two women. She has told Kim our relationship is an embarrassment for her. She didn't know her daughter is a lesbian until we began seeing each other. Kim's mother has said that if I were a man, she would be thrilled. She knows I love her daughter and treat her well, but she can't get over the fact that we are gay.

I am perplexed about what to do. Our relationship is stable, and we are both happy, but this bothers both of us. I don't want Kim to feel torn between her mother and me, especially since we are discussing marriage. Is there anything I can do to ease the tension? -

DEAR LOOKING: There is little to nothing you can (or should) do to ease Kim's mother's embarrassment. Parents have all sorts of dreams and ambitions where their children are concerned, but in the final analysis, adult children must live their own lives as they see fit.

A longtime, trusted organization called PFLAG exists for the precise purpose of building bridges between LGBTQ individuals and their family members. You can find it at pflag.org . However, until Kim's mother is willing to seek help to adjust to reality, there's nothing you or Kim can do other than let your happy life together be an example.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.