Dear Abby: My unstable daughter criticized my parenting, then threw me out of her house

DEAR ABBY: I am raising a granddaughter. We went to visit her aunt and cousin and had a nice day until my granddaughter told her aunt she should let her 5-year-old pick out her own clothes. My daughter became enraged and told me I had to teach my granddaughter to respect adults. I told my daughter I didn't think she should tell me how to raise this child.

My daughter then began yelling and cursing and threw us out of her house. My granddaughter was distraught after being yelled at even after she apologized.

I have thought for a couple of years that my daughter isn't mentally healthy. I will not expose my granddaughter to her aunt again. I would, however, like to maintain a connection with this daughter because I want a relationship with the 5-year-old. I'm willing to let this event go.

I know my daughter thinks this is all my fault and she did nothing wrong. She suffers from a number of delusions, some related to social media. It has not been possible to get her help. I have tried to encourage her husband, who is just trying to survive. I'm not quite sure what is the right thing to do. Please help. -

DEAR ON EGGSHELLS: When your unstable daughter told you to teach your granddaughter to respect adults, you should not have reacted by fanning the flames. If you wish to have a relationship with the grandchild who lives with this daughter, apologize for the blow-up. It might also be wise to warn the granddaughter you're raising that her aunt is "sensitive" to parenting advice, not to offer it again and to limit her exposure.

DEAR READERS: I wish you all a happy and healthy Fourth of July. Please drive carefully and celebrate safely. P.S. Wishing a Happy, Heavenly Birthday to you, Mom! - LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.