My social media is helpful and positive. Here is how yours can be, too

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For all the scary reports about how social media is ruining everyone's mental health, my feed is usually a pretty good place to be.

I don't often see content that makes me want to change my body, feel inferior about my lifestyle or distance myself from the people I am close to.

But it wasn't always that way, and I had to take four conscious steps over time to make my social feeds a safe place to be.

"Social media is not inherently bad or good," said Dr. Jason Nagata, associate professor of pediatrics at the University of California San Francisco.

Being active on social media can connect and educate people, but it can also make people feel inferior and alone, he added.

The environment you curate online makes a big difference, said Dr. Katherine Keyes, professor of epidemiology at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health in New York City.

"Looking for different experiences and creating a healthy environment is important, whether we're talking about home, school, wherever we are spending our time," including online, she added.

Engaging with social media in a more positive way does mean managing the amount of time spent online and balancing the place it has in your life — and it also means managing the quality of the content in your feed. Here's what I have learned about cultivating a healthier, happier social media experience.

What you spend time on is what you are sure to get more of when it comes to social media.

Many social media algorithms analyze what you spend time on — whether you're liking a post, angrily commenting, or just watching a video play through — and keep sending you similar content.

"We need to become more aware of this as a problem and think more thoroughly about how that algorithm is created," said Dr. Marie Yeh, associate professor of marketing at Loyola University Maryland. "It is very simplistic in terms of: You like this one thing, and now it's feeding you more."

"People need to be active," she added. "It is hard, because it requires a conscious choice."

Have you ever pulled out your phone to quickly check your apps only to find yourself looking up an hour later from a deep dive into a reality show couple's relationship timeline that you didn't even mean to go down?

It's a common experience –– and even expected given how social media works with the human brain, Dr. Anna Lembke, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University School of Medicine, told me in a previous CNN .

Many social sites are adorned with beautiful faces, colors, cheerful sounds and promises of instant social connection, all things that humans have evolved to be drawn toward, she said.

Those tantalizing things stimulate the release of dopamine in the brain. Often called the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, the hormone plays a part in intense drives like movement, motivation, addiction and romance, Lembke added.

When such a rewarding neurotransmitter kicks in, it's easy to end up chasing the exciting content the social media algorithms put in front of you rather than making conscious choices about what you engage with online.

Try opening your social media accounts with some idea of what you are looking for. For me, I know I am going to stop and spend time on any memes my high school best friend sent me, videos of people restoring historic homes, seasonal recipes and all dog content.

Making choices ahead of time about what rewarding content is for me personally helps alleviate the mental effort it takes to decide whether I am going to continue to read or watch a post.

Just as important is knowing what you are going to disengage with. And there is plenty of content online that isn't helpful to see.

For everyone –– but particularly adolescents ­–– being mindful about not engaging with content that revolves around social comparison is important, particularly around beauty content, Nagata said.

"Research suggests that using social media for social comparisons related to physical appearance, as well as excessive attention to and behaviors related to one's own photos and feedback on those photos, are related to poorer body image, disordered eating, and depressive symptoms, particularly among girls," he added.

Comparison and unhealthy beauty standards aren't just coming from the people you follow, so it can catch you off guard, said Dr. Patricia Cavazos-Rehg, professor of psychiatry at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis.

"I see this on my own teen daughter's social media feeds where posts encourage unhealthy beauty standards and dangerous diet culture even though she is not following profiles that promote or discuss this type of content," she said in an email. "This doesn't just happen within the beauty sphere, but it is also occurring in social media spaces related to politics, substance use, and other relevant, potentially polarizing, ideologies."

Not all exercise, food, makeup or fashion content is bad. But keeping tabs on some red flags for content that's unhelpful and unhealthy for you can make a big difference.

I will stick around and watch a TikTok recipe if the first shot is a scrumptious depiction of the meal, but not if it is a full-length image of how thin the creator is. I will happily keep reading on a post that advertises an exercise that can alleviate tightness in my shoulders, but the moment I see words like "bikini body" or "snatched," I'm gone.

Finally, it may be time to clean out the accounts you follow.

It may feel important to keep your social media open to as many people, opinions and content types as possible, but there is a line between open dialogue and unnecessary conflict, Cavazos-Rehg said.

"It is important to recognize that polarizing social media content or clickbait is intended to increase social media use and trigger feelings like anger and frustration. This content gets more views and is more likely to go viral," she added.

"Social media users need to recognize these motives and be intentional about balancing what they are seeking out versus what they are passively engaging with."

It can feel tempting to have exchanges with people you disagree with, but often the limited time and space of social media posts don't give you the best opportunity to have a kind, nuanced conversation, Yeh said. Taking the conversation offline and talking in person may be more constructive.

"You no longer can learn even though I disagree with this person, I still like them as a person. They're still a good person. We disagree fundamentally on this one issue, but there's all these other things that we do agree on," Yeh said. "You don't see that anymore when you're reducing people just to what they are in social media."

The level of my reaction tells me when it's time to unfollow ­­–– or even just hide –– accounts that rile me up. Am I bristling a little at their posts but ultimately learning something? Or am I so outraged that I keep coming back to read more, only to just keep getting fired up?

"Readers should ask themselves, 'Is this content bringing me joy or connection?' If not, they can consider unfollowing people or pages that do not bring joy or connection," Nagata said.