Penn State Post-mortem: What is Andy Kotelnicki hiding and what is he showing?
At my high school we had an annual faculty vs. students basketball game.
One year, Mrs. Bucks, an elegant, artsy English teacher, was prevailed upon to play for the faculty. She was tall, if not at all well-versed in the sporting arts.
On game week, Mrs. Bucks would stuck her head in the doorway of the faculty lounge and ask, "What time is basketball rehearsal?''
Although it was football, that's a bit how Penn State-Kent State felt Saturday - less game than practice, and less practice than rehearsal.
Rehearsal for a show that's coming soon, under the direction of Andy Kotelnicki, Penn State's first-year offensive coordinator.
On Penn State's fourth offensive snap of a 56-0 romp, Tyler Warren, a tight end, lined up at quarterback. He was snapped the ball and ran for 16 yards.
Later, from the same formation, Warren threw a touchdown pass, lefthanded, to running back Nick Singleton.
James Franklin called it, "one of the ugliest touchdown passes I've ever seen,'' but it was on the money. Warren might be an All-American tight end now, but he was a quarterback in high school.
First-year offensive coordinator Andy Kotelnicki used a fair amount of "21,'' personnel (RB, one TE) Saturday, but with the TE, usually Warren, lined up all over the place.
We saw backup quarterback Beau Pribula lined up as an H-back/receiver, and as a QB in the shotgun, sometimes with starting QB Drew Allar on the sidelines, and sometimes with Allar on the field, lined up at wide receiver.
It was quite an assortment, culminating in a bizarre moment when center Nick Dawkins prepared to snap the ball with the other four offensive lineman lined up out wide, bunched together, like wide receivers.
Kent State coach Kenni Burns called time.
"Just too much chattering,'' he said. "We were kind of all talking about (and not knowing) what it might be.''
Kotelnicki seems to have particular fun with linemen, moving them around, getting them chugging downhill. Recall 350-pound guard Vega Ioane lined up like a slot receiver and then pulling a couple weeks back.
The Lions racked up 718 yards of offense and 40 first downs Saturday, both school records. They scored eight touchdowns, all but one of them on drives of 75 yards or more. The other one was 67 yards. They averaged over six yards per rush and 13 per pass.
The numbers had a lot to do with Kent State, a program building from close to Ground Zero.
Just as important, Kotelnicki put a lot of stuff on videotape for Big Ten coaches' perusal. Conference play begins next week.
"They do a lot of movement,'' Burns said. "They move pieces around to create confusion. They make your eyes be disciplined, and we're a young football team that's not always very disciplined with our eyes.
"It's the same schemes a lot of the time, but the pieces are moving, and (knowing) who's doing what, that's what makes it complicated.''
Kotelnicki calls it distortion.
The most Andy moment ever might have been in a 2022 game between Houston and Kansas, where Kotelnicki was then the OC.
In a key moment, on third-and-seven in the red zone, KU running back Devin Neal took a direct snap in an offset formation, a quirk Kansas had shown twice the previous week.
On the tape, you can see Houston's linebackers pointing at Neal. But this time, Neal handed off to QB Jalon Daniels, who rolled right and faked a reverse to backup QB Jason Bean, who had been lined up in the slot.
Now Houston was chasing Bean, while Daniels tossed a touchdown pass to TE Jared Casey that looked as easy as playing catch with your mom.
"We pull (the defense) apart and get through it," Kotelnicki said is his first press conference at Penn State, "if that makes any sense."
Rehearsals are over, and we're about to find out.
