Speaking out: Oh, the lessons we teach our children
Arthur, our 10-year-old grandson, played one of the leads in the sixth grade musical at Horizon Middle School in Bismarck a couple weeks ago.
The character he played?
Why, King Arthur, of course.
The musical, "Joust," based on a 2010 children's book by John Jacobson, is a short, modern-day take on the well-known story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Early on, as you'd expect, King Arthur comes face-to-face with a sword stuck firmly in a large stone.
Except this time, there's another stone, and stuck firmly in that one is a boomwhacker. The king is immediately faced with a choice. Does he take up the sword? Or the percussion instrument?
Of course, he chooses music, and the rest of the show tells a story of making music, peace and love instead of war, harmony instead of fighting.
This is what we want our children to learn. It's what we spend their formative years teaching them, whether at home, at school, at church or at play.
They don't always get it. But hey, they're kids. We know from our own experiences that if we lay that strong foundation, the chances are much better, so much better, that they'll grow up to be adults of strong moral character and clear values.
So we read and watch stories like "Charlotte's Web," and "Alice in Wonderland," and "Winnie the Pooh," and "Pinocchio," and "Joust."
It's a big, bad world out there, and this is what we want our children to learn.
Last week, while watching a local TV news report, I learned that we're now also teaching our children a new and different kind of lesson.
Jacey Wanner, a parent and family educator with the North Dakota State University Extension Service, was the guest expert on this report, and the topic pursued by the interviewer had to do with election campaigns, specifically how to help your children process messy, heated, ugly and aggressive advertisements and debates.
Wanner pointed out that most families have a rule against name-calling. But turn on the TV during an election season and you'll see our leaders and future leaders, from governors and congressmen to presidents, calling names.
Often, as we all know, it's not just playground name-calling, but heated, angry and aggressive name-calling.
"It can be confusing for kids," Wanner said, suggesting that parents use these moments to talk to their kids about what these leaders should be saying. Like focusing on what they've done and what they hope to do rather than on bad-mouthing someone else.
There it is.
No longer is it sufficient to teach our children to respect one another, to make music, peace and love instead of war, harmony instead of fighting.
Now we also have to teach them how to cope when leaders in the greatest country on earth disregard the lessons we see as critical and foundational; how to deflect when politicians act like schoolyard bullies rather than living like Pooh or Pinocchio or Arthur.
You wonder. Who's leading who?
As the performance of "Joust" moves into its climactic scene, tears form in a papa's eyes. King Arthur, his Arthur, has the solo to introduce the song "All I ever Wanted."
"All I ever wanted was music. All I ever wanted was song. All I ever wanted was harmony, and all to get along."
No tissue in sight, papa turns to his shirt sleeve, and a chorus of sixth graders continue in unwavering harmony.
"In my mind I hear our sweet symphony. Ev'rybody playing in turn. In my heart I know between you and me, that we can get there soon."
Finally the whole cast breaks it all the way down:
"Peace on earth. Right makes might. Love for all. All around the world. Around the world. Around the world."
If only.
Steve Andrist, Bismarck, is a member of the North Dakota News Cooperative's board of directors.
