Asking Eric: Group’s weekend getaways are leaving people out

Dear Eric: I belong to a league involving a large group of women. For many years we went away for a weekend. Everyone was invited. The group has become larger over the past few years and now the weekend invite involves only those who went the previous year. Some of the other girls have expressed an interest in going to me but I'm not in charge. I refer them to the person who is.

I am sad that some are not included even though there are openings, and some are excluded because "she drives me crazy." I have spoken to the person in charge only to be told that she's in charge. It's not a good feeling to be left out and I know I will be losing friends because of this. How do I move forward from this?

– League All Alone

Dear League: Is there anything stopping you from organizing your own league away weekend and inviting those who aren't invited to the one currently happening? It seems the growth of the league necessitates it. So, stepping up and taking on the mantle of an alternate trip makes sense.

Am I suggesting a coup? Well, yes, I am.

But if the current trip organizer is purposefully excluding folks who are eligible to go, there's something wrong at the top.

Another option is to be even more forthcoming with your friends – you've told them you're not in charge but if they're still holding this against you (unjustly, I think), tell them how stressed the whole thing makes you. And then suggest that do the coup.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com .