Dear Abby: I hate that my boyfriend watches so much porn, but he says I should get over it

DEAR ABBY: I met this man online a year and a half ago. We have been together ever since. There is a serious problem with him watching porn. When we met, I knew he was doing it when I was not with him. He knows I'm not happy about it, and he tried for a while to keep it hidden from me. More recently, he would watch it and then want to come get cozy with me.

When I tell him it's a complete turnoff for me, he gets upset and tells me I need to see a therapist to get over it. I told him he should get help if he expects to have a relationship with any woman. I think he's obsessed with pornography. Am I overreacting?

I'm beginning to feel like it is more important for him to watch porn than spend time with me. I do love him and very much want to be with him, but I can't seem to get over this. Help, please. -

DEAR DEAL-BREAKER: I wish you had mentioned what KIND of porn your boyfriend watches. Many men (and women) watch it because it helps them to become aroused. Some couples watch it together. Your boyfriend's suggestion that this should be discussed with a therapist was actually a good one. However, I'm suggesting that the two of you visit the therapist together. If you do, it may be educational and save your relationship.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.