Elise commentary: A hub for healing

I am almost sure about one life experience. If Amarillo had had an ambitious and multi-faceted service like Queervana in 2002, I may not have upended my life by moving to Santa Fe, NM alone at age 48.

Santa Fe is a magical, breathtakingly beautiful town, but it is very expensive and has the added challenge of requiring bilingual individuals for positions in counseling, social work and other professions that work with Spanish-speaking individuals and families. I don't meet that requirement.

I recently read a quote by a speech writer that referenced what he called the "soft bigotry of low expectations." What he meant was that, when we don't believe a person can reach a goal because of race, ethnicity, sexual preference and/or physical challenges, we are displaying our bias.

It is "soft bigotry" because it is not acknowledged or realized outright, but it is prejudice nonetheless.

This is where Ali Ramos' Queervana business wipes clean the slate of that partiality.

Ms. Ramos is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) who grew up in Amarillo. She opened a private practice therapy office in September of last year. Her practice also includes ketamine-assisted psychotherapy. She hopes to house a massage therapist as well.

Her business blossomed quickly: by January of this year, she had over 50 clients. That number was much too large for one person to navigate alone.

Realizing the absence of practices that accommodate different facets of the LGBTQ+ community in the Panhandle, she opened a space for individuals to come together for information, advocacy and support.

From the beginning, Ms. Ramos' plan was to provide a place where people of all ages, ethnicities, genders, sexual preferences, abilities and walks of life can meet and find solace.

The foundation of her business runs deep. When she was growing up, Ms. Ramos felt excluded for many reasons. Her physical challenge was spinal muscular atrophy, and she later self-diagnosed as autistic.

Growing up in a Baptist community made her feel even more dispensable, and when she realized she was a queer person, her isolation increased.

Though she had obtained an art degree in graphic design and another degree in social work, she found it particularly difficult to obtain an internship in the latter field.

Her flashpoint arrived when she decided to attend Columbia University to receive a Master's degree in social work. The diverse and accepting individuals in New York helped her understand that she was not alone.

It also prompted her to rise to the calling of returning to her childhood roots in Amarillo, where she grew up.

It takes courage, discipline and an extraordinary amount of care to bring a tapestry of knowledge and skills to an area where nothing like that existed before.

Ms. Ramos is clear that she does not intend to duplicate services in town. She understands that there are countless individuals who provide counseling. In addition, there are places to find a massage therapist or take a yoga class.

There is also PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), which is a national non-profit organization that plays a pivotal role in surrounding loved ones with understanding, compassion, acceptance and advocacy.

But where is there a space that includes all of the above amenities, as well as fellowship? Is there any other place where Queervana's slogan, "Y'all means ALL?" applies?

Ms. Ramos' desire is to partner with PFLAG and other organizations to provide a safe, inclusive place where people can meet and be authentic. They do not have to hide any aspects of themselves in order to flourish into the most radiant souls they can be.

I have been thinking lately about the 14th Dalai Lama, known as His Holiness, and who is the spiritual head of the newest school of Tibetan Buddhism. He views suffering as the natural order of life.

However, he also believes that quality of life depends not upon external development or material progress, but upon the inner development of peace and happiness.

If we first establish peace within our minds, outer peace can come naturally. Queervana can help us create that peace. I am also reminded of Martin Buber's concept of an I-Thou relationship. It is so simple; yet, we often don't often recognize it as it happens.

For example, let's say you have to take an Uber somewhere. Perhaps the driver is someone to whom you are drawn because she or he reminds you of a person in your life, or the driver is very warm and friendly.

There can pass between the two of you a moment when your hearts, prisms of light, coalesce into a stunning new image and you are aware, even for the briefest moment, of your shared humanity.

What a wonderful feeling of belonging such an encounter provides.

Many of us understand how difficult it is to find a therapist with whom you click. Sometimes it takes several attempts to find an individual who can help deal with life's difficulties. It's also easy to give up if one is alone in that search. Queervana makes sure we are not alone.

On a personal level, I and some of my family experienced rejection and exclusion because we arrived in the United States from Hungary in 1956. We fled during the Hungarian revolution, not knowing a word of English, let alone understanding the customs and traditions in the U.S. We felt like outcasts for the longest time.

Enter Queervana for folks who are or have been excluded from mainstream society like we were, for whatever reason. After learning about Queervana's goals and mission, I wrote two haikus with the inspiration I received from reading about and emailing her. They are as follows:

Love without borderA place where no one will stareNirvana lies there

Our purpose is this:Be present and give serviceAfterwards, be free

Ms. Ramos is now working on obtaining non-profit status for her organization.