EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT: Politicats

Cats with political clout?

Exactly.

What? Has Larry the Downing Street cat finally gone to the great litter tray in the sky?

No, but his whiskers have certainly been ruffled.

I blame Ian Murray.

Who?

The Secretary of State for Scotland, who called Larry 'a little sh**' after Downing Street's famous mouser refused to be photographed with him.

Larry's people dealt with that.

Larry has people?

Of course. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. Everybody knows this.

So who's tweaking Larry's tail?

Prince, the Starmer family's new siberian kitten.

I thought Sir Keir promised the kids a dog.

That was before entering what the Prime Minister termed a 'long summer of negotiations'.

They voted for a dog, but he gave them a cat...

The significance of this volte-face has been much analysed.

What else are people saying?

Jokes along the Starmer/Waheed Alli lines are popular online. 'Is it an Alli cat?' asked one Telegraph reader, while another mused: 'At least there are plenty of rats in Downing Street'.

The PM may already be regretting the optics on this.

He's definitely regretting the DIY.

Why?

Have you ever tried installing a cat flap in a bomb-proof door?

Sounds like a blast. Sorry. No, I haven't...

It's 'a little bit difficult', acknowledged Sir Keir when questioned on the admin surrounding the kitten's arrival at Number 10.

So how did Larry get in and out before Prince turned up?

Let's not get stuck in the cat flap. The point is that X is alive with the rivalry between these political beasts.

Go on...

When a photo of Prince with Sir Keir began doing the rounds last month, Larry's X account posted: 'My position as best-looking cat on Downing Street remains unchallenged.'

How did Prince respond?

He retained a statesmanlike silence, but a Keir Starmer parody account hit back with: 'Larry, delete this or I'll lock you in the cupboard again.'

Do any other nations go in for political cats?

America. Surely, you've heard David Scott's (AKA The Kiffness) viral hit 'Eating the Cats, ft Donald Trump', which was inspired by the former president's bizarre rant about pet-eating Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, during his TV debate with Kamala Harris.

Can't say I have.

It's had over eight million views on YouTube and South African musician Scott is currently on tour in Europe and selling out all over. The anthemic lyric: 'They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats, they're eating the pets of the people that live there' is moving audiences to tears.

Possibly more stirring than it sounds.

In a video posted to X, a Cologne audience can be heard singing 'meow, meow, meow'. Comments under the tweet include this from Kiffness: 'Was quite emotional tbh'.

Any other affairs of state with paw prints on them?

In the wake of Trump's running mate J D Vance's dig at 'childless cat ladies', childless cat ladies have become the thing to be.

Says who?

Taylor Swift, who gave herself the moniker on Instagram when she endorsed Harris.

Just imagine the political fallout when 17-year-old Larry goes to meet his maker.

A government official has revealed there's a plan for national mourning.

Really?

It's called 'Larry Bridges', reports The Times, a tongue-in-cheek reference to plans for the deaths of monarchs – traditionally named after famous bridges.

Maybe we should honour Larry while he's still alive.

Times readers tended to agree with you.

What did they think most befitting – a cat flap in the door of the House of Lords?

Most preferred a 'purrage'.