Is It Healthy For Couples To Share Their Location? Here's What Therapists Say
It's one of the polarizing relationship questions of the digital age: Should you share your location data with your partner?
Some folks view this choice as an invasion of privacy, while others see it as a useful safety precaution or logistical tool.
A recent viral conversation on X , formerly known as Twitter, about location-sharing in romantic relationships gives a sample of this debate. In an Oct. 27 tweet, user wrote :
I think location sharing between spouses is weird. It's too much. I have no desire to monitor where my husband is all day and he has no desire to monitor me. He thinks it's weird, too. I don't want to have to make sure someone is behaving themselves. If someone wants to cheat or whatever else then that's on them. I trust Adam and he trusts me. Even if we didn't trust each other I don't want to have to keep tabs on someone to keep them straight. I realize a lot of people claim to use tracking for safety issues but it's still too invasive for me to ever consider doing that. If we want to know where the other is at then we call or text.
In the replies, some folks cosigned her point of view. Others responded with their personal reasons for sharing their locations with their partner, many of which are practical in nature.
As user wrote "There's a multitude of reasons to share locations other than lack of trust. My husband rides a motorcycle. If he's been gone for a while, it's nice to see that little dot moving along and know he's fine."
Some couples find that location-sharing is an easier way to check their partner's whereabouts without having to interrupt them with a text or phone call.
"It's not about trust or lack thereof. It's the fact that 2 button clicks eliminated 40000 texts per month," user wrote . "'Have you left the store yet?' 'Let me know when you leave so I can turn on the oven,' 'Where am I picking you up again?' All non-existent now."
Then there are couples that only location-share in specific circumstances — like if they're in a taxi or Uber or on the road — rather than on a 24/7 basis.
Here's What Couples Therapists Think About All Of This
Therapist Nicole Saunders , owner of Therapy Charlotte in North Carolina, told HuffPost said she's on Team Share-Your-Location.
"Unless you're opposed to the idea altogether, location-sharing is a practical way for couples to coordinate daily life," she said. "It eliminates the need to always wait for a text back or wonder why they're not responding, which can build frustration."
Saunders thinks of it as a tool couples can use to help their day-to-day run a little more smoothly, she said.
"If your partner goes for a walk before dinner, you can easily check their location and see that you have enough time to tackle a quick task, or even time dinner to be piping hot on the table when they walk through the door," she said.
Location-sharing is by no means a necessity, Saunders said, noting that "couples managed just fine for thousands of years" before it existed.
"But it's a helpful convenience that, I believe, improves basic communication and can open the door to more opportunities to plan nice moments together," she said.
On the flip side, Northern California therapist Kurt Smith , who specializes in counseling men, told HuffPost he does not recommend location-sharing between partners.
"In my experience counseling couples, I find that it doesn't build trust, it builds suspicion instead — leading to questions, doubts, and worries," he explained, "all of which can turn into distrust of our partner and ruminating thoughts about worst case scenarios. It also creates dependence on a device rather than communication with our partner and honesty in our relationship."
He was recently working with a client whose husband had an emotional affair. One day, the husband told his wife he was going to buy cigars. While he was out, she checked his location and saw that his car was parked somewhere other than the smoke shop.
"This information triggered all kinds of possible scenarios in her head. She asked about it when he got home and he said he just pulled over for a few minutes to clear his head. True? Could be, could be not. But what her checking didn't do was build trust or bring them closer," Smith said.
Therapist Kaitlin Kindman, co-founder and director of the Kindman & Company practice in Los Angeles, told HuffPost it's "hard to make a blanket statement about whether this is a helpful practice or not," as it really depends on the couple.
"This can be an easy and effective way to streamline some communication and decrease worry, but it can also be a tool that increases mistrust and anxiety about the security of the relationship," she said.
Saunders agreed, noting that couples with pre-existing trust issues (like those navigating infidelity or other betrayals) may find that sharing their location actually increases anxiety and conflict in the relationship.
"Like any tool, its benefit depends on how it's used. If one or both partners become obsessive or overly reliant on location-checking, leading to distrust, arguments, and even paranoia, then it's likely not a helpful tool for that couple," Saunders said.
Kindman considers it a "great sign" when couples share their location with each other but very rarely check in on their partners.
"This indicates that you have significant security in your relationship and that you can choose to check locations when it's truly more convenient or helpful for you both," she said.
"Like any tool, its benefit depends on how it's used."When trying to figure out if location-sharing is right for your relationship, Kindman suggests asking a few questions:
"If you are forcing your partner to share their location or doing this behind their back, this is causing harm and/or abusing power," Kindman said. "All partners should be able to discuss the possibility of sharing locations together, feel that any concerns they have are heard and that they are allowed to say no."
