SAYING GRACE: Don't let non-essential issues divide us
When I was in middle and high school, my hair went through what I affectionately call its "country music singer" phase. After a home highlighting job went terribly wrong, I decided to dye all of my hair blonde. Not longer after that, I got a curly perm. For years my hair was very big and very blonde.
When I was a senior, I decided that I wanted my natural hair color and texture back. I spent an entire Saturday afternoon in a salon having my hair straightened, dyed brown and cut into a short bob.
I was thrilled with my new look and couldn't wait to show it off at school on Monday. Unfortunately, not everyone was as pleased with my new hair as I was. The pastor of my school pulled me into the hallway and lectured me for an hour about how my new hair was not honoring to God. He believed that the Bible called for a woman's hair to be long and that anything else was not unacceptable.
Now, I do not want to get into a discussion about whether he was right or wrong in his belief. What I do want to address is how he handled the situation. In Romans 14, Paul tells us that we are not to quarrel with other believers over what I like to call the "gray areas."
In verses 2-3, he uses the example of food to illustrate his point. "One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgement on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him."
In 1 Corinthians 15:3-4, Paul explains the three essential elements of faith: "That Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." So many of the issues that we find ourselves arguing about with other believers fall into the category of non-essentials.
Infant vs. adult baptism, contemporary worship vs. hymns, women wearing skirts vs. pants and yes, short vs. long hair. While each of us may have our own personal convictions about these and other issues, we are not to allow these issues to divide the us. Unfortunately, arguments arise and churches divide over things as silly as pew color or whether or not we drink wine or grape juice for communion.
Instead of judging one another, we are called to show love toward our Christian brother or sister who doesn't have freedom in an area in which we ourselves do. For example, I enjoy a glass of wine with a special meal. My brother on the other hand is a recovered alcoholic. When we celebrate holidays at my house, I forgo my freedom to drink out of love and respect for his conviction not to drink.
In Romans 13:8, we are told to, "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law." When we judge one another over non-essential beliefs and practices, it is impossible to obey this command.
Furthermore, Jesus tells us in John 13:35 that, "all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Is that what people outside of the church see what they look in? Or do they see us quarreling and bickering with one another?
In the end, "each one of us will give an account of himself to God." (Romans 14:12) God alone is judge and we will all stand before His judgement seat. Until that day, let us strive to live in love and harmony with other believers, celebrating not only our common beliefs, but also our diversity.
Heather Ablondi is a women's ministry speaker and author who lives in Fredericksburg. You can contact her through her website, heatherablondi.com .
