This Veterans Day, do more than say ‘thank you’
This Veterans Day, I want you to do more than just thank a veteran for their service.
As a veteran of 28 years, I want to challenge you to go beyond patriotic rhetoric by asking specific questions about the veterans you encounter.
First, ask us what we did in military service. Don't worry – our stories aren't just about bombs, bullets, and boats.
For instance, most of us would love to tell you how we deployed on more than a few humanitarian missions.
If you ask, we'll tell you about operations like "New Horizon," where we built schools, clinics and playgrounds all over South America.
Some of us helped clean up New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, while others will tell you about flying into countries devastated by earthquakes or tsunamis.
Ask us what we did, and we might recollect building runways in the desert, pitching tents in the jungle, setting up communications links in the Australian outback, hot-loading planes and launching satellites that give you the cable TV you enjoy.
Get us talking, and we'll tell you about fixing planes, loading planes, flying airplanes, jumping from planes, and fueling planes in flight.
As a chaplain, I can tell you about the blessings I prayed over planes and the blessing I had of walking away from one that crashed.
This generation of service members might lose you in their technical talk, but I assure you they proudly mention the satellites they control, the drones they fly and the cyber warfare they engage in.
After you ask them about what they did, ask them where they've been.
They'll likely share their version of Johnny Cash's song, "I've Been Everywhere."
They've filled passports while doing temporary duty in places like Antigua, Ukraine, and Djibouti in the Horn of Africa.
They've flown planes over the North Pole, landed them on the South Pole and navigated submarines under both.
And yes, they've even spent some time in "dark sites" that "don't exist."
They've shivered with their families on assignment in Minot, N.D., and spent a few sweltering years in Fort Huachuca, Ariz.
My family loved the two years they spent in Izmir, Turkey, while other military families enjoyed the island seclusion of Guam or the Azores.
A few lucky ducks will regale you with stories of embassy duty in Paris, London or Madrid.
If you want to go deep, ask them what it means to have served.
They might tell you if you listen intently and they think you're interested.
It's just as likely they won't be able to tell you. It's just as likely that their voice will hitch, their eyes will mist, and they'll turn away from that question.
Don't get me wrong. They're proud of the things they've done, and they want to share them with you, but I caution you there are some things they won't share.
Taking an oath to obey the legal orders of those appointed over them meant that they also did the unimaginable and unspeakable for some.
I know because they told their chaplain.
They told me about the lives they couldn't save and the lives they had to take. They've shown me their physical wounds and bared their moral wounds.
Thankfully, the stories of most servicemembers run the course of everyday life, albeit a life of transfers every two or three years, endless inspections and exercises, family separations and making ends meet on military pay.
It was a life of long ago, but it was life from only yesterday.
Ask us, and we'll tell you.
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