Those conspiracy charges are a bad rap for P. Diddy | Mulshine

Where's Jimmy Durante when you need him?

Or should I say, when P. Diddy needs him?

That singer from the 1940s popularized a saying that applies to a different singer in 2024:

"Don't make a federal case of it."

According to a post on the Democracy Theme Park site, the saying was adopted by Durante in response to "the federal government's use of tax evasion charges to justify going after bootleggers during the Depression."

But it certainly seems to apply to the federal government's prosecution of the rapper also known as Sean Combs.

The indictment on sex-trafficking charges released last week reads like it was written by a tabloid news writer.

It mentions hotel rooms stuffed with baby oil, lubricant, extra linens, and lighting that were employed in his "Freak-Offs," which were orgies that could go on for as long as three days.

Then there was an allegation that at the Freak-Offs, Diddy "hit, kicked, threw objects at, and dragged victims, at times, by their hair."

Bad behavior, if true. But where's the federal crime?

That requires going back to the legislation sponsored by the biggest advocate of the so-called "nanny state," Anthony Comstock.

Comstock, who lived most of his life in Summit, was the founder of the "Society for the Suppression of Vice" in New York.

In 1873, Comstock got Congress to enact a law that makes it a crime to send pornography through the mail.

That was the beginning of the creation of a vast federal bureaucracy that keeps expanding its power.

The Diddy indictment cites a March raid on his residence by the Department of Homeland Security that came after his ex-girlfriend filed a suit against him.

Some of my fellow conservatives believe the DHS is overstepping its authority with such actions.

Among them is one of the most prominent defenders of individual rights in America, former Bergen County Superior Court Judge Andrew Napolitano.

"Homeland Security today is America's superpolice. DHS's plain-clothed cops outnumber FBI agents five to one," said Napolitano, who is now the legal analyst for Newsmax. "Its stated legal duty is to protect the US from foreign adversaries. Instead, it has become a gang of domestic storm troopers at the disposal of faceless federal bureaucrats."

Once Comstock was in place, federal power was augmented even further in 1910 by the passage of the Mann Act. That law made it illegal to bring people across state lines for immoral purposes.

Just what those purposes are is up to any inventive federal prosecutor to determine, says Elizabeth Nolan Brown of the libertarian Reason Foundation.

In an headlined "D ecoding the Sex Trafficking Case Against Sean 'Diddy' Combs," she argues that prosecutors could have gone after Diddy in state courts on the allegations he threatened and beat women.

"But by trying to make this a sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy case that involves all of Combs' businesses, it opens up the possibility of seizing all sorts of money and assets involved in them," she writes.

When I phoned her, Brown told me that Homeland Security often gets involved in what should be routine prostitution cases.

"When you throw the Mann Act charges in there, you're just trying to rack up the charges so you can get a guilty plea," she said. "They say they're ostensibly looking for human trafficking, but I've covered a lot of these cases and I've never seen a case where they actually found it."

So why don't my fellow conservatives oppose these expansions of federal power?

"Conservatives actually talk about minding big government, but then they don't walk the walk," she said. "When anyone makes allegations of sex abuse, people are afraid to stand up to them."

Diddy will have a tough time standing up for himself.

So far he's been denied bail, which makes it difficult for him to mount a defense against the charges.

If he were allowed to do so, he could argue that much of the alleged criminal actions "are just normal and legal activities," Brown writes.

It seems that way to me.

I once wrote an on the Manhattan S&M scene for another publication. The participants needed whips and chains just to get in the door. But as long as they enjoyed beating each other, who am I to complain?

Napolitano argues the feds are trying to criminalize consensual behavior.

"The concocted charges against Combs - offering voluntary behavior as if it were criminal - should be dismissed for want of federal jurisdiction," he said in an email. "The feds are trying to become the morals police, yet they have no constitutional authority to do so. And the Constitution requires he be offered bail."

But what about the threat that he might leave the country?

That's no threat at all to those of us who don't like rap.

The threat is that he'll stay.

So don't make a federal case out of it.

More: Recent Paul Mulshine columns .

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