Ask Yadi: Is it OK to have a bachelor party friends can't afford?

CLEVELAND, Oh - Navigating costly bachelor parties and maintaining friendships

Reader question: Is it OK to have your bachelor/ette party in a remote city – Nashville, New York and or Las Vegas just to name a few options - even if some friends can't afford to attend? Afterall, it's their problem they don't have the money. Right?

My husband's friend is having his bachelor party in Las Vegas. It's going to cost approximately $800 to $1,000, plus. This includes things such as the room, airfare, drinking, and some meals. This doesn't include the entertainment, if they decide to gamble, see any shows they may see or visit any clubs they may attend.

We don't have that kind of money to spare. We are in our late twenties, and just bought a new car and are saving for a house. While my husband opted out, he did contribute to help pay for the grooms' expenses.

I wish we had the money to spare, but we don't. I don't think he should have had to help pay for the groom, it's not his fault it was so expensive. But my husband is loyal that way and felt that he should at least help contribute since he wouldn't be present.

Why are extravagant bachelor/bachelorette parties even necessary ... especially when they shut out people and make friends feel bad? Aren't there other options?

Answer: You didn't specify if your husband was in fact part of the wedding party. If he is then I understand him contributing to the groom's expense, this is just one of many things he will be spending money on as part of the wedding party...If he is NOT part of the wedding party then no, he shouldn't have felt obligated to contribute.

Though not everyone opts to celebrate out of town, some people want this and use it as a getaway. When deciding on celebrating out of town, they will have to consider and keep in mind that not everyone can afford to attend. Bachelor/ette parties can be costly, even if you aren't traveling.

You can't feel guilty because you can't afford to attend, but neither should you sacrifice your own household expenses to make the trip. If you can afford it, then go have a good time.

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