Nme

Hwasa on finding a new lease on life: “I’m just moving as my heart desires”

J.Lee21 min ago

s Hwasa enters the last phase of her twenties – the singer will turn 30 next July – she's reevaluating her connection to music, the medium that enriches her self-awareness and fosters introspection. "At the beginning of my career [...] I just had this big imagination and I had a dream that I really wanted to fulfil, so that's why I had a lot of passion for it," she tells over a Zoom call from Seoul. "Now, I think I'm going into more details within that frame of dream and imagination I originally had. Even in terms of the emotions, I really want to express those in more detail and delicacy."

This newfound need to take in and convey every nuance seems to stem from how hectic Hwasa's schedule has been during the height of MAMAMOO 's fame. The girl group, after all, were one of the most popular, in-demand K-pop acts of the 2010s. "I feel like I was just on the go, go, go," she says. "I was so busy, and I had a lot of achievements – which I'm very grateful for. But because I've been doing things so busily throughout my career so far, I hardly remember my twenties."

"Youth is such a beautiful thing, and many people really cherish that moment, but it all feels like a dream to me because it went by so quickly," Hwasa admits. "So that's something that feels a little regretful from time to time, and I didn't have a lot of free time to enjoy my achievements and celebrate them in the right way." She emphasises that she doesn't want to "let go of moments anymore," maintaining these memories as "distinguished as possible" in "her heart and soul."

In this context, Hwasa's second mini-album 'O' serves as a reintroduction to the singer. The seven-track record glows with her renewed brilliance, evident from the very first notes. During the conversation, she pauses to consider which lyric best captures her present, taking a few moments for thoughtful contemplation. Then, in her signature low register, Hwasa softly sings, "Big wide road", the first line of the album's opening track, 'Road', a resonant ballad recorded entirely in English.

"It may seem that it doesn't hold a lot of meaning, but I think it explains the song in brief, simple words," she asserts. "Those three words set a great tone for ['Road'], and I believe it really encapsulates my identity." She co-developed the song with close friend and frequent collaborator Park Woo-sang, who recently shared in a behind-the-scenes video that 'Road' was written years ago, sometime around the making of Hwasa's first mini-album, 'Maria'. It's no surprise, then, when Hwasa tells us that the song "holds a very special place in my heart".

If 'Road' begins with resolve, then closing track 'O' finds Hwasa at her most earnest. The deeply personal piece (another co-write with Park) is more than just a song – it's an articulation of her approach to love and a comforting embrace. "It portrays who Ahn Hye-jin [Hwasa's real name] is; unmeasurably soft and fragile yet concrete inside, and keeps a unique cheeky characteristic," she says. "It's been five years since I wrote this song, but I always listened to 'O' whenever I felt tired. It provides a shelter for me to rest."

For Hwasa, songwriting is essential for shaping her thoughts and emotions into melodies, as seen in tracks like 'OK NEXT' and 'just want to have some fun'. She blends tender memories with whimsical interludes, working through the layers of her creative process. "Most of all, I felt a huge wall when working on the lyrics," she says. "I felt overwhelmed to explain my feelings as lyrics, so I tried to keep my comfort level and clear my mind by travelling to various places, which helped me quite a bit."

ver the past decade, Hwasa has not only etched her name in gold as a member of MAMAMOO, but also as an artist in her own right as well as someone who's unafraid to break the mould. "Looking back before my debut, I was very fearless," Hwasa tells . "I was able to really challenge myself through anything, and I think that time of confidence served as a base stone for me to grow this far as who I am [presently]."

Despite being overlooked by some K-pop executives for not adhering to the typical beauty standards, Hwasa and MAMAMOO – rounded out by Wheein , Solar and Moonbyul – defied the odds and shaped a lane for empowerment. Their thorny road sprung recognition and, in turn, the accumulation of obstacles overcome and milestones cultivated both maturity and wisdom. "Sometimes, it's helpful because it means more knowledge, and I'm more experienced and know where I'm going and what I'm doing," she says.

Throughout her career, Hwasa's aura has consistently been indomitable and unapologetic. She subverts conventions, threading rawness and strength in her music to create a space framed by authenticity. Yet, beneath this dynamic front lies an acute perception of who she is and where she's heading. "I'm just walking on a different path," she says. "With the experience and knowledge I've gained so far, my mindset is thinking: 'Oh, my trainee self was who I was back then, but right now, I'm walking on my path as who I am right now'."

And at this moment, Hwasa says she's someone who is "filled with bright and positive energy" – and this a feeling that comes from within, one that she just "can't fake". "Whenever I'm working, I get this question a lot, 'Oh, can you smile more brightly?'" she says. "That's just who I am, and I need to feel it to smile. Right now, I think I'm in this phase where I'm just naturally drawn to my bright side, and I'm discovering it. I can feel it within myself."

The K-pop star admits that life hasn't been as rosy as it is now, though: "Every person goes through their dark and bright stages in life – it's like a roller coaster." This struggle unfolded during the pandemic, a period where Hwasa "had a very tough time", which took a significant toll on her well-being. Amid that uncertainty, she presented her first single album, 'Guilty Pleasure' , at the tail end of 2021, a project that provided a salve for her inner healing, guiding her back to renewal, uplifted by the support of those around her.

"I would say that two of my core beliefs would be having that self-confidence and not doubting myself – that is a big part of me," she says. "And the second thing is not to lose my people, those caring for me, surrounding me, and protecting who I am. They are such precious beings I'm always grateful for. I want to take care of them as they are taking care of me."

Both believing in herself and having people who stand by her culminated in 'NA', the lead single of 'O', which celebrates her unmistakable confidence and self-love. Hwasa reveals that picking a focus track for the record had been a tough decision, but PSY , the founder of her current label P Nation , "thankfully came in and led many parts [of the production]". Although it took a bit of time for Hwasa to "truly recognise the charm of this song", now she views it as one that "continuously brought my energy up, never tiring me" during days when she was "longing for enjoyment".

Throughout her career, Hwasa – which means to "shine brightly" – has more than lived up to her name. But beyond that, the singer has also learned to protect what's most important to her in a way that few others have. "I am giving my best to enjoy and feel happiness, and it is something I put in the most effort," she says. "I'm just moving as my heart desires, and from that, I found myself more healthy and happy. Right now, I am beautiful and happy."

0 Comments
0