Opinion: Why not you? The importance of mentoring

When I first retired as a dentist, I found myself with an abundance of free time but a lingering sense that something was missing. I enjoyed staying active and connected to my community but the transition to retirement was challenging. Losing the daily sense of purpose and structure that work had provided, I started searching for a way to fill that gap. That's when I turned to mentoring.

As someone who raised children alongside my wife Sharon, I found myself reflecting on what I'd done well, the mistakes I may have made, and the things I wished I'd done differently. Mentorship allowed me to reconnect with these memories and experiences but with a fresh perspective. I wasn't raising a child this time around; rather, I was sharing a journey and offering support in a way that's deeply fulfilling without the weight of full parental responsibility.

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One of the things I quickly noticed was how powerful a relaxed, male-to-male dynamic can be for young boys. With Layton, the boy I mentor, we often bond over shared interests, like sports and cars. Sometimes, we spend hours in near silence, simply enjoying each other's company. It's the kind of companionship that many boys might not even realize they're missing – a model of male interaction that's easygoing, supportive, and free of the need to fill every moment with words.

Male mentorship offers young boys a chance to see that men can be listeners, teachers, and guides without judgment or pressure. In a world where male role models are often depicted as stern or distant, mentors can embody a different kind of masculinity – one that's open, understanding, and deeply invested in their well-being.

In fact, according to MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership:

Students who meet regularly with their mentors are than their peers to skip a day of school and to skip a class.

Youths who meet regularly with their mentors are than their peers to start using illegal drugs and to start drinking.

at-risk young adults who had a mentor aspire to enroll in and graduate from college versus half of at-risk young adults who had no mentor.

Mentoring reduces depression symptoms and increases social acceptance, academic attitudes and grades.

When I talk to my friends about mentoring, I hear the same hesitations: concerns about time, energy, or a fear of committing long-term. I had those fears, too but the support and resources I receive from Ferd & Glady's Alpert Jewish Family Service's 'Mentoring 4 Kids' program has made this journey not only manageable but incredibly rewarding. It's been more than three and a half years now with Layton, and I can't imagine my life without this experience.

Reflecting on the growth I've witnessed in Layton – how he's become more talkative, assertive, and open with me – I realize how much I've grown as well. There's an incredible sense of fulfillment in knowing that just by showing up, by being there for him, I'm helping him build a foundation of self-worth and resilience.

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That's why we need more men to step into a mentorship role. There are currently just over 40 children in the Mentoring 4 Kids program at Alpert JFS, with a waiting list of many more – most of which are boys – looking for mentors.

At the end of the day, male mentors provide boys with a blueprint for what it means to be a thoughtful, present, and caring man. I encourage anyone considering mentorship to take the leap. The rewards are profound, and they go both ways. You may start mentoring to give back, but the sense of purpose, connection, and joy it brings to your own life in return is not only immeasurable, but priceless.

Paul Shapiro of Palm Beach Gardens is a Mentor for Ferd & Gladys Alpert Jewish Family Service's 'Mentoring 4 Kids' program. To learn more about becoming a mentor, visit .