St. Louis man relaunches viral podcast about narcissistic dad

In October 2023, Danny Jacobs, a St. Louis native who had moved to LA to work in Hollywood, released episode 2 of his podcast about growing up in Creve Coeur with his dad, Richard Jacobs.

Richard Jacobs was diagnosed on at least two occasions with narcissistic personality disorder, resulting in a strange and sometimes alienating childhood, Danny Jacobs says. He ended up having to cut off his father in 2011. A few years later, in 2015, Richard Jacobs died.

Called "How to Destroy Everything," the podcast sees Danny Jacobs and his childhood friend Darren Grodsky trying to better understand Richard Jacobs and his impact on his son.

It went viral, getting more than a quarter million listeners in just a few days. And everyone wondered, where is episode 3?

The podcast has brought Danny Jacobs closer to some family members and driven a wedge between him and others. He continues to share everything in real time.

Danny Jacobs didn't have a third episode. The duo released each episode as soon as it was made in the hopes of finding people who knew Richard Jacobs.

The plan was to make future episodes about finding and talking to those people. Everyone would uncover the story of Richard Jacobs together, almost in real time.

But that was impossible to do on a weekly basis, and fans wanted a regular series of episodes. So Jacobs and Grodsky took a hiatus to regroup.

"What we didn't want to do was continue throwing out episodes whenever we were done, which could be six or seven weeks apart with no real cadence," Jacobs says.

They were also looking for funding for the podcast which required frequent trips back to St. Louis, actors for dramatic reenactments, equipment, a producer and more.

So Jacobs and Grodsky created a Patreon account, searched for a sponsor and began recording episodes.

After Episode 2 went viral, Grodsky and Jacobs released several short episodes they called interregnums to update fans on their progress and the emotional upheaval the podcast was causing in Jacobs' family.

Now, those will come out biweekly. They'll "be more informal, and it's going to allow Darren and I to talk about how the podcast is affecting my life, as well as get into some of the more extended interviews and things that are going on in real time," Jacobs says.

They officially relaunched the podcast on Sept. 17 and finally released Episode 3, which picks up where Episode 2 left off, talking about Richard Jacobs' house in Creve Couer, which, according to Jacobs, had secret compartments and doors all over it when Richard Jacobs was alive.

"We go into all kinds of things," Jacobs says. "Episode 4 is very much about my mom's childhood and background and how someone could marry someone like my dad. Then we get into my dad's career, what led him to the Supreme Court, the aftermath of my parent's divorce..."

Jacobs' dad was a lawyer and he fought the American Bar Association all the way to the Supreme Court over regulations about how lawyers could advertise.

He was also disbarred.

"It's just so complicated," Jacobs says about his dad and their relationship. "There are episodes where I find myself defending him and defending certain actions of his. He was not an absent father by any means. But then we'll learn things and I will gain insight into things that are, frankly, unforgivable, and I will be filled with rage and sadness."

The podcast has also affected Jacobs' family. "My relationship with my aunt has pretty much ended," he says. "I don't know how it's going to play out, but there is some awkwardness and tension that is a big part of this experience."

He's going to be candid as the situation with his family unfolds. The podcast has required a lot of vulnerability for him, but he thinks that's what makes it special.

"We're trying to be really truthful and honest and vulnerable and open and emotional," Jacobs says. "Which I think that we as a collective, are in desperate need of in these strange times."

You can listen to "How to Destroy Everything" wherever you stream your podcasts. If you knew Richard Jacobs, reach out to the podcast at .

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