Why Heather Dubrow moved her family to LA: ‘It’s not the kids that are the problem these days. It’s the parents’

When Heather Dubrow first set her patent leather heel into frame on "The Real Housewives of Orange County," she had four children under 7, and the youngest was only 9 months old. She was dealing with diapers and nap schedules and playdates — all things that this admittedly particular mom could control.

But as her children grew, eventually three of the four — who now range in age from 13 to 20 — came out as being LGBTQIA+ . Some of the parents of her kids' friends weren't exactly understanding.

To give her kids more opportunities (and potentially more empathy), Heather and her plastic surgeon husband (and co-host of " Botched ") Dr. Terry Dubrow moved their family to Los Angeles.

"You know, honestly, it's not the kids that are the problem these days. It's the parents," Heather tells TODAY.com when she stopped by 30 Rock on Sept. 19.

"Kids now are fluid . First of all, they're loving. They're totally accepting. They don't blink an eye at anything ... pronouns, preferences, nothing," she says. "But it's the parents that are so influential."

Heather says that it was "really hard" for her kids to thrive in Orange County, especially her youngest son, Ace, who changed his pronouns in the last year. She was so conflicted about whether to stay in Orange County (which she implies is more conservative and closed-minded) or move to Los Angeles (which has a wider variety of people and opportunities) that she put down deposits for schools in both locations.

Then, her daughter Kat happened to attend a summer program for film at Northwestern and met a number of kids who went to school in L.A. Once Kat told her mom that she was "all in" on moving, Heather's decision was made.

Why Heather Dubrow returned to "Real Housewives" Heather, who joined the "Real Housewives" cast during Season 7, shares that she was reluctant to sign onto the show in the first place.

"I was an actress, and at that time, (doing a reality show) was like the kiss of death," she says bluntly. "I did not want to be on the show."

Her husband Terry, on the other hand, "understood the platform that it represented." When he showed her a clip of the show, Heather thought it was a satire, "like a Christopher Guest movie. So I signed on to do it."

Heather stepped away from filming after Season 11 but made a surprising return during the show's 16th season. She says she came back for a very specific reason: to show viewers that a family with three LGBTQIA+ kids isn't so different from theirs.

"The reason why I came back to the show was to show our family and try to start conversations in other people's homes because I truly believe that if you don't see it, you don't know what it is," she says. "And our family is very normal, and there's families like us everywhere."

Heather does experience occasional frustration with being on the show, but she blames the programming time constraints — and not the editors. ("I'm not calling bad editing. I'm saying they can't show everything, right? There's only 42 minutes.") But she seems to agree that the benefits of being on reality TV outweigh the costs.

"The comments I get on social, and when I meet people out in the world, are so interesting and incredible that I know even in a small way, I make a difference," she says. "And that's worth the irritation of being on the show."

Heather Dubrow's advice for parents on "accepting people for who they are" On the Sept. 19 episode of "Real Housewives," Heather is shown presenting at the GLAAD Awards to celebrate fair, accurate, and inclusive representation of the LGBTQ community. The show also spent a lot of time this season on her work with Family Equality , which ensures that everyone has the freedom to find, form and sustain their families by advancing equality for the LGBTQ+ community.

"I was involved with Family Equality a decade before one of my kids even showed signs of being in the LGBTQIA+ community because it's a great organization, and it's something I believe in," she says.

Heather thinks that it's "sad and unfortunate" that many parents might not care about supporting LGBTQIA+ rights or using correct pronouns until someone close to them asks them to. And she cautions that pronouns represent more than they may think.

"Pronouns are important because it defines who we are as humans," she says. "And unfortunately for those parents, until someone they know is going to have a change of pronouns, they won't understand it. That's too bad. And it's too bad for their children, because they're really limiting their views of the world."

She continues, "It's not just about pronouns. It's about accepting people for who they are. There's more than just pronouns on the table."

Has the Dubrow family's move to L.A. worked out the way they thought it would?

"Even better," Heather says.